October 26, 2009

“ So grab your friends
And let’s take it back to my house
Let’s watch Sex and the City or Desperate Housewives

Timabaland from the song Chop Me Up - Justin Timberlake ft. 36 Mafia & Timbaland

Why the fuck would you suggest moving a party to your house to watch some television? Biggest buzz kill ever. Also, why would a man suggest watching Sex and the City or Desperate Housewives? That is the biggest pussy line to ever have in a rap song. I think Timbaland just might have a little sugar in his tank.

That is the quote and commentary I sent to the blog Snacks and Shit, a blog about rediculous rap lyrics. It didn’t make the cut, so I posted it on my blog. Btw, I hope that the phrase “sugar in his tank” isn’t offensive to anyone.

1 week ago • 0 notes

I need to try this.

1 week ago • 1 note

1 week ago • 7 notes

Don’t worry. They make this for dogs, too.

1 week ago • 1 note

cwphoto:

(via phototypes)

1 week ago • 24 notes

chris jordan

1 week ago • 0 notes

Cheese Sandwiches

Underrated

Cheese + Mayo (Mustard optional) + Bread

1 week ago • 0 notes

October 25, 2009

This is 2 weeks ago when we went to a haunted house.

1 week ago • 1 note

Like we didn't know this was coming

Mom admits to “Balloon Boy” hoax: court record

According to a copy of a search warrant affidavit posted on the website of Fort Collins newspaper “The Coloradoan,” Mayumi told investigators she and her husband lied to authorities and knew their son Falcon was at home as rescue teams tracked the balloon believing the boy was inside.

“The motive for the fabricated story was to make the Heene family more marketable for future media interest,” the affidavit states.

The document also says the Heenes, who had starred in the reality television show “Wife Swap,” had devised the hoax about two weeks before and had instructed their three children to lie to authorities and the media.

<via>

1 week ago • 1 note

egoyummy:

ohatoms:

c-estlavie:

imthenarrator:

taketotheskies:

makemylife:

rexyrexyrexy:

vampiresinlove:

sailtothemoonx:

reblog with the one you’d pick.
time stop for me ;>

time stop

teleport

time stop. You’d basically be invisible then as well!

Time stop.

ehhh.. Probably Time stop, but Teleport would be pretty awesome too.

time stop!

FLYING, HANDS DOWN

Teleport!

TIME STOP. Teleport would be a close second, because that would save a lot of time. Time Stop would ultimately allow me to do naughtier things, though. One serious problem of time stop would be that I would eventually be older than anyone else. Assuming I still aged while time stopped. I think I would wind up stopping time quite a bit. Several hours a day, at least, if just to sleep more. Flying would only be useful if you could fly super fast, be immune to the cold air and low oxygen levels at high altitudes. Invisible would have a couple advantages over time stop, like you could watch things happening with no one seeing you. Still, those would be small advantages compared to the disadvantages. People could see everything you are holding (like, idk, money being carried out of a bank) and feel the things you were doing to them. Let’s assume these are all humorous things, nothing gross or sexual. ;)

1 week ago • 330 notes

Why you hatin’ on Clay Aiken?

1 week ago • 1 note

Men's English:

egoyummy:

I’m hungry = I’m hungry
I’m sleepy = I’m sleepy
I’m tired = I’m tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
May I have this dance? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
What’s wrong? = What stupid self inflicted psychological trauma is it now?
What’s wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I’m bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let’s have sex now!
Love you, too = Okay, I said it, Now can we have sex
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
Let’s talk = I’ll impress you by showing you I am a deep guy then maybe sex?
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex without me

These things are so played out, but I couldn’t help but laugh at accurate it really is. I would make a couple amendments. Basically adding sex as a desired out come to the end of every statement, even the I’m hungry one.

I’m hungry = Can I eat before sex? If not, that’s cool, because the sex is obviously more important. It’ll just have to be a quickie.

1 week ago • 2 notes

October 24, 2009

2 weeks ago • 3 notes

Taco Bell. You need to make a deal with Huy Fong and start carrying small packets of Sriracha, aka Rooster Sauce. Or at least have some hot sauce that is, ya know, hot. You have 3 hot sauces, Mild, Hot, and Fire, but none of them are very spicy. Don’t get me wrong. I am not one of those folks that need alergic-reaction-spicy hot sauce. The kinda shit you have to sneak over the bordrer and can only use a toothpic tip to taste. Just something, say, at least as hot as Tabasco sauce.

2 weeks ago • 1 note

Time flies when you're...

anotherknowitall:

jeremyduncan:

fucking wasted…

haha i dont know you at all,but im looking forward to meeting you on halloween!

I am a dissapointment. I am not nearly as fun as I pretend to be online. .

2 weeks ago • 0 notes